The child looked at me and cackled. I held her gently in my arms as I made funny faces at her. She was such a sweet angel—innocent… and she was mine. My blood, my eyes.

It was early morning, and everyone was still asleep. The crowing roosters hadn’t disturbed them—except for Ina and me. Ina was busy heating coffee as she prepared breakfast. It was my turn to take care of Ana. I sat by the old rocking chair near the window and watched the morning sun rise over the towering mountains of my hometown.

I heard a loud laugh from below. I peeked out the window and saw my friends.

Safawil, Kawi, and some other guys were tossing a basketball to each other, probably heading to the court just across the street for a game or two. I sat back before they could see me. It had been a long time since I played with them. We used to play basketball all the time in high school, not to mention bathing in the calm Chico River after class or watching pretty girls pass by at the park late at night. Somehow, it felt like those days would never happen again.

The child rested her head on my warm chest. I yawned, looked at her, and gently rocked her to sleep. I closed my eyes and let myself drown in the great depths of darkness.

---

“Did you do it?” Raul asked—for the nth time this week. He was from Manila, sent to Baguio by his parents to live with his grandparents and study there.

“Err… no,” I replied, staring at the book in front of me and pretending to read.

“Why? She doesn’t want to?” he asked inquisitively. He was the kind of guy who would casually ask personal questions.

“No. We’re just not ready yet.” I scanned the library, hoping no one had overheard us. The two students closest to us were too absorbed in their discussion.

“When are you going to do it?”

Raul guffawed. “Are you serious? Do you think we’re still in the ‘90s?” The two students glanced in our direction. Most of the others were also staring now.

I grabbed my backpack. “I have to go.” I needed to end the conversation before it got worse. I looked at my worn-out N1100 phone for the time—an excuse to walk away. The hand-me-down phone read 3:45.

“Farneg, it’s better to spend money on tuition than on meaningless things that’ll break over time.” That was my father’s reasoning when he gave me the phone he’d already used. It was useless to argue.

I waited outside Maya’s classroom while their class was still ongoing. I leaned against the wall opposite her room and could see her through the glass—busy taking notes as the teacher presented slides.

Kriiiiiiing.

I straightened up and waited for her to come out. Moments later, the teacher dismissed the class, and she was by my side in no time. A few of her classmates noticed us and giggled. They waved, and Maya waved back, smiling.

She was beautiful, especially when she smiled. She tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing her rounded face and sparkling hazel eyes—untouched by any makeup. Her smile had always blown me away, just as it had the first time I saw her. She was wearing the striped pink and white shirt I gave her last Christmas, when I was still courting her. That made me smile inside.

I took the books she was carrying. Students from the education department sure had a lot to read.

The afternoon breeze swept softly across our faces as we walked down Session Road. I held her hand, unembarrassed by the many people around us—unlike before, when we first held hands during our first date. She smiled.

“After graduating, I’ll build the best roads and houses. And then I’ll build a big house where our family will live,” I said with exaggerated gestures—a dream spoken aloud, untouched by the harshness of reality.

“Aha-ha-ha. How can you be sure I’ll marry you?” she teased.

“I’m sure. And we’ll have lots and lots of children,” I replied, going along with her playfulness.

We continued dreaming aloud together as we walked until we reached her apartment. Her roommates weren’t home yet, and an immature decision led to events we may never know whether to regret… or not.

Photo by Thiago Matos from Pexels