The presentation has not yet started,  the power point is still at the first slide showing the points of discussion during the meeting today.  I don’t understand why we have this weekly event but I am the most excited.  

Name tags were placed on where everyone is expected to seat.  My desk is right across yours. Thank goodness meetings in conference rooms.  I smiled, we are nearly facing each other face to face. I can’t stop myself from smiling even if knowing full well that later, you’ll probably be rejecting me, yet again, on another invite to a new movie coming up.  Typing profusely on my laptop, I stared over your desk as if in deep thought just to catch a glance of you. I bit my lip to hide my smile. I don’t think it helped.

I’m trying to comprehend why I am always turned down.  By you, especially, during this past few weeks. I must have done something terrible when we last went for a movie.  It was an independent movie, low budget, but the story was good nevertheless. I remember having the whole row for us as only few people came to watch.  Was it just me thinking those moments were special? Or there’s already someone special for you it would give misconceptions just being with me? Is it not yet the right time for us.  Especially as it feels we’re walking on different paths?  

You’re in a dark blue short sleeved blouse.  You always seem to wear darker shades of clothing.  The light from the computer reflected on your eyeglasses.  You seem deep in thought as you typed on your laptop you did not notice a cup of coffee being served to you.  Always beautiful in your work mode look.  

I must have been looking at you for so long, I was already on deep thought and never realized you were staring back.  I glanced away, calming myself and feeling the heat all over my face. The cold water served had not helped. Torpe must course through my whole being.  I never did try to properly ask you out. Or is it just my fear of another failure that would eventually envelope me if I tried? So right now, here I am worried like fool for you.  Getting angry at myself rightfully so. Jealous, without even the right to be so.  

I opened my chat box, searched for your name and pressed on the keyboard.

***

The presentation has not yet started.  I still have time to work on my other reports.  I looked for my name tag and sat. No coffee served yet?  I propped open my laptop and started working on my report.  This is already due tomorrow my supervisor will kill me if it’s not finished by that time.  

My laptop is so slow in waking up.  Right across my laptop, I saw your name tag.  I took in deep breaths. There you are again, seating right across me.  It does feel awkward seating face to face. Finally, it’s open. I went straight on the report to set my mind to focus.

I thought of the time we last had time together.  It was at that movie. You made a good pick. I do enjoy watching independent films.  After that, you never communicated with me. You seem well off with work. We both did.  

You did try inviting me to watch a movie more than a couple of times, however, I have been so busy lately I often gave you a pass.  I noticed you looking intently at me. It’s hard thinking of what you might be thinking. Is this just another movie-with-friend thing?  Or is this more? It does feel hard to read your mind. But then, in this instance, you looking so absentmindedly at me, gives a whole different idea.

You glanced away when you eventually realized I was looking at you.  I don’t know if I would laugh or smile at how red-faced you looked. Probably the latter.

A message popped up on my chat box and I saw your face and name on it.