The screen seemed to zoom in closer and closer, the letters S-E-N-D becoming more vivid and bold. How may minutes have I stared at it? Or was it hours? Something about that single key could make a 360 degree change in my life and yet it’s calling me, inviting. I held on to the mouse tighter.

The first half of the year had been grueling but you can not ignore the fact that those six months did have its benefits. The paycheck for one or the time I spent with my colleagues. Those moments were treasures for display on my personal memory treasure trove.

I looked around the office, at my colleagues, and somehow, it felt like there’s no one I could talk to. No one to whom I could just say “I am struggling. ” I have been since the earlier months of the year. But I had to show everyone that I can do it because that’s what everyone’s expects of me.

But I’m tired.

Really tired.

I don’t feel like I still have the capacity to continue on working and be productive. The last bits of my efforts had been shredded down and tossed down on a dumpster. My self-worth burst as would a bubble on its short-lived float before a dust, or human , or wind, burst it into nothingness. But that short-lived float did give me the time to know the most beautiful souls, and they helped the bubble float much longer.

I grasped the mouse much tighter, the send button now becoming blurry as water tried to cover my eyes.