Goodbye, my friend.

Are you in a better place right now? Will you ever miss me? Will you ever look back on the memories with me?

Was it easy saying goodbye? I’ve seen you hold back your tears. I’ve seen you anxious from the rings from your phone. I have seen you wake up every Monday morning hoping the follow ups will not come flooding in. I’ve seen you give up. Through all the pain and anxiety, I hope you can also see the purpose behind it all and that all is well as it led you to meeting lasting friends, respectable seniors and mentor.

Were you angry? You became much more open on your political views. One news after another, you felt and saw how the government had failed you. You were also angry at yourself, that for a time, a thought came across your mind that, maybe, even the slightest chance, there could be hope for your country.

Was it easy to be alone? For almost ten months, you have been all alone in that cramped space. At first, you had high hopes everything will all be alright. You even thought that for an introverted individual, staying at home alone seemed so normal. For a time. But then, the days turned to weeks then to months and the cramped space evolved into your own personal prison cell. As you tried to break the deafening silence, you came across hillarious and entertaining podcasts, far from the documentary or learning-type of podcasts. You came across television series with depth in their storylines and production value, far from the campy or storyline tropes in the local scene. You also learned to budget and survive by cooking as your situation hindered you from take outs all the time.

Do you miss them? This week, you will be celebrating your anniversary of being apart from your family? One year. You always reasoned out that you had no option but to stay in the city because of work. The province had poor internet connectivity needed for your work. But deep inside, you fear that if you go home, you will be a carrier of the dreaded global virus and you would pass it to your parents. You missed them. So much. So, so much. You realized how much family meant so much to you in a whole new level. Also, you realized how your friends working overseas may have felt being apart from their family. You learned to empathize with them. They must have endured so much.

I can’t say I was happy to be a witness in your life. I am not sure if the lines “May we see each other again” and “Nice meeting you” would be appropriate for us. My hope is that you learn to see goodness in what you had experienced. You may not understand it now, you may not see it now… I hope that you see reason behind everything that happened to you. I hope that I was able to magnify in you the value of self-reflection, self-love, and self-worth.

Farewell,
2020